Outlander Season 2, Ep. 203 (Occupations & Deceptions)

Mary Hawkins
Mary Hawkins – The Key to Frank’s Existence

Once again, my Starz subscription on Amazon had the episode posted at 9 p.m. PST last evening. Even though I was ready for bed, I clicked on play to time travel back into the past with Jaime and Claire. However, the episode struggled to keep me engaged, and I admittedly yawned a few times.

The story is progressing this episode at a rather slower pace. Not as lighthearted or intense as others, I call these types of episodes fillers – the necessary scenes to push the story along. Nevertheless, you will find Claire and Jamie at odds with one another during the current state of affairs. Not much by way of romance, except perhaps for naked boobs dangling in front of Murtagh’s face as he’s getting it on with Claire’s lady’s maid. Starz couldn’t help themselves giving us a flash of flesh and nipples, as usual.

Early on in the episode, the light comes on in Claire’s head regarding Frank when she realizes little innocent Mary (concerned about what French men put between the legs of ladies) must marry a Randall in order for Frank to be born. Okay, time out. I got lost at this point and went Internet searching. Holy Outlander, people! There is an Outlander Wikia with character backdrops and forums to discuss the ancestral lineage. You’re all obsessed!  (Oh, wait, that line is from Phantom of the Opera.)

Apparently, there is some confusion about who begat who besides me scratching my head over the names in Frank’s family bible. If you are one of those fans with an insatiable need for anything Outlander, you might follow this link and try and figure out Black Jack Randall’s lineage for yourself. OUTLANDER INFO CLICK HERE. It’s Johnathan Randall who marries Mary Hawkins so Frank can be born generations later. Dear oh, dear. Gotta keep that bastard alive a bit longer for Frank to be born.

Moving past ancestral ties, Claire is bored while Jamie is running to and fro trying to save the Scots from being wiped-out in the future.  She’s sleeping alone while he’s spending nights rubbing elbows with the necessary society at the brothel.  (Thank God, at least he’s faithful and not rubbing anything else as the prostitutes keep throwing themselves at him.)  She is bored – he is tired. Hence the episode title, “Useful Occupations and Deceptions.”

Claire decides to volunteer her time at a charity hospital to find purpose again. It’s hard being dressed up in finery all day and having tea and playing cards. When the nuns discover her usefulness, she’s accepted into the fold, tasting urine and lancing puss-filled legs so you can watch the gore on the screen.  Your tolerance for blood up close will be tested again by the camera crew.

Meanwhile, Jamie is entertaining the Prince at the brothel, playing chess, decoding stolen letters, and coming home looking for wifely comfort over a bad day. When Claire is nowhere to be found, he’s angry that she’s not taking care of her real purpose in life — being his wife. While she’s tending the sickly poor, Jamie is rightly concerned that she is putting the baby at risk by exposing it to disease. On the other hand, let’s not talk about her drinking during pregnancy.

They seem to be drifting apart, the romance is a bit cooled, and Murtagh keeps telling Claire she better tell him that Randall is still alive. Of course, the episode ends, and she doesn’t.

What about kernels? Sorry, I dropped the popcorn bowl last night watching the lancing of the leg with oozing puss and am still picking up the mess. Nothing to scatter in this review. My stomach is a still upset.

Outlander Season 201, Ep. 202 (Not in Scotland Anymore)

Titanic Blood And Steel 2012I burned my popcorn in the microwave last night. Well, not literally. Only to say that I’m not scattering popcorn kernels after last night’s episode. I’m going to keep my kernels private, which is more than I can say for the body parts Starz loves to flaunt.

Last night’s episode started off graphically with hot lovemaking between Claire and Jamie. With the young Scot dealing with post-traumatic stress disorder, it’s no wonder the lad is having nightmares. Well, you will be privy to that horror as the face of Claire morphs into the face of Jack Randall underneath Jamie, moaning with pleasure. Jamie loses it, grabs a knife, and repeatedly stabs Jack in the chest until he’s killed the bastard. At first, you fear he’s done in Claire during a moment of madness, but Jamie jolts awake dripping in sweat. This is your gory welcome to Episode 202 – you will be drenched in blood.

The things I avoided in the last half of season one, are apparently going to be shoved in my face by Starz regardless of my distaste. I would really like to get through this series, but if my complaining gets on the nerves of the die-hard fans, I am surely going to be hanged, disemboweled, and quartered.

After the shocking start of the episode, we get to the crux of the matter – they are not in Scotland anymore. I will give Starz credit for one thing – they have done a fantastic job with costumes and scenery. They have spared no expense to give its fans a time-travel trip into 18th century Paris. Jamie and Claire are living the life of luxury, wearing beautiful clothes, and making acquaintances so they can get an inroad into the royal court.

However, along with the greatness above, comes the vulgarity (love that word) of the French in the eyes of its visitors. As one scene unfolds in a brothel, while Jamie meets the Prince, you will be entertained by a few shocking scenes of prostitutes with decorative imitation penises and flashy nipples that give Jamie and Murtagh a shock.

I suppose you could call the lighthearted scenes of Claire’s new upper-class friend getting her legs and honey pot waxed slightly entertaining. You’ll later find out that Claire has tried the hairless trend herself and crawled into bed with Jamie. Poor Jamie, however, still sees the face of his enemy underneath and cannot perform.

The remainder of the show deals with Claire and Jamie attempting to infiltrate the court and rub shoulders with the individuals who can help their cause. Episode 202, not as moving as 201 with Claire’s return, pushes the story along. It jumps from nightmarish scenes, lighthearted bantering and hair removal, to dull, watching the king attempting to have a bowel movement, and an unexpected revelation at the end.  Jamie suggests eating porridge in the morning to the king as a means of fiber, since Scots don’t have that problem.  If anything, I can attest that one bowl of oatmeal does the job for me.

As I’ve stated before, no, I haven’t read the entire series in book form. I’m a virgin to the story, so I see this series televised from a different viewpoint. Unfortunately, Starz is apparently going to push those scenes I’ve attempted to avoid into my face nevertheless. Hence, my popcorn burned last night, and I’m keeping the few kernels that escaped to myself.

Oh, and once again, by 11 o’clock Friday night, the episode was posted for watching. At least I’m getting the value of my $8.99 a month Starz subscription. Thanks Amazon.  Here’s hoping Starz stops the flashbacks of terror and moves on with the show.

Outlander Review (Episode 7 – The Wedding)

The Scottish referendum to depart from the United Kingdom did not pass on Thursday, September 18, 2014.  However, millions of women passed out on Saturday, September 20, while watching Outlander, Episode No. 7, The Wedding.

Fainting episodes, heart palpitations, and profuse sweating can be attributed to Jamie Alexander Malcom MacKenzie Fraser. The marriage was consummated (multiple times), and Starz made sure to give us breasts, bottoms, moaning, seductive touching, and virginity lost. They did warn viewers with “N=Nudity” and nudity we got.

Now that I’ve dabbed my forehead with tissues and wished I was in Claire’s place, I’ll attempt to write down tonight’s episode.  If I’ve missed something, blame it on Jamie’s abs and bottom, plus those blue eyes and piercing looks.  :inserts swoon:

It was a great episode, only put together a little oddly.  Rather than making it sequential, it bounced back and forth from here to there, which I found a bit annoying.  Nevertheless, it starts with Claire and Frank deciding to wed in the spur of the moment, and Claire admits that after a while you forget your life in the past.  Whether she truly does is another matter, because Frank’s ring only comes off her finger and stuffed down her bulging bosom just before she weds Jamie.

The wedding scene starts with the kiss after pronouncement of husband and wife, making you wonder if you were late for the wedding.  It quickly moves to Claire and Jamie alone with one task looming ahead of them — the consummation.  However, instead, it turns into hours of sharing, drinking, and talking, flashing back and forth between scenes.  Jamie tells Claire about his family, expounds stories, and admits he married her to keep her safe from Randall. His chivalrous confession of promising to protect her with his body as well is endearing.

Everyone downstairs is enjoying the drunken reception of booze and food (along with a cat nibbling at the table leftovers). The purpose for the crowd hanging around is to await word the bride and groom have done the deed.  Rupert and Angus burst into the room at Dougal’s orders at one point hoping to witness something.  Nothing’s up yet, so Jamie kicks them out.

Claire appears extremely nervous and out of sorts in many scenes. Their time together is awkward, to say the least. Jamie finally kisses her, and then seductively traces his fingers along her skin.  He slowly undresses Claire down to her shift, fondles her breast, and the kisses get a bit hotter. Claire wants her own turn, so she frees him from his kilt and leaves him in his shirt.  Well, after another kiss, Jamie loses it and sort of attacks her body from behind, but she turns him around and he ends up on top of her in bed.  It doesn’t take long to lose his virginity, but Claire doesn’t look like she’s really enjoying the experience while he enjoys his first time with a woman.  We could make some jokes about how fast it took, less than a minute from my count, but I will behave.

Afterward, he asks her if she liked it, but she doesn’t say anything.  He just figures, like the men told him beforehand, that women don’t care for it. He admits that he thought it was always done from behind like horses do it, and Claire has a good laugh.

As the evening progresses, it’s more flashbacks that include Jamie’s conditions for marrying Claire, which included: (1) a church wedding by a priest; (2) a wedding band; and (3) Claire must have a wedding dress.  Obtaining each of those items were lighthearted moments as to how they came about.  As they recall the wedding together, Jamie and Claire tell each other how they felt.  The conversation is used for viewers to finally see the wedding itself.  Jamie is extremely handsome in his full Scottish regalia, and Claire is beautiful in her wedding gown.  (You might enjoy this article from Vanity Fair about the costume designer’s choice for Claire’s dress. Click Here)

The wedding vows are touching, but it’s not without blood as Dougal slits their wrists, binds them together, and their blood mingles. Those romantic words are spoken by Jamie and Claire:

‘Ye are Blood of my Blood, and Bone of my Bone. I give ye my Body, that we Two might be One. I give ye my Spirit, ’til our Life shall be Done.’”


The remainder of the episode focuses on the lovemaking between Jamie and Claire.  She finally relents to her situation and her shy nervousness dissolves. Her boldness in bed with Jamie is quite hot, as she pleases him in ways he never dreamed. The scenes didn’t hold anything back. I often wonder how these stars do these portions so intimately with their modesty patches and not get aroused. Let’s not go down that road.

The episode ends with Claire the next morning picking up her wedding dress and Frank’s ring falling to the floor from the bodice where she shoved it before the wedding.  It rolls across the floor, falls into a crack, and Claire picks it up and places it back on her finger on her right hand.  She then looks at both of her hands and the two rings declare she belongs to two different men. It’s quite the thought-provoking ending.

Next week’s episode looks intriguing, as Frank in the future deals with Claire’s disappearance.

Well, my question to you, is how many times are you going to watch the rerun of this episode?  Try not to overdo it, ladies.  Once again, I don’t find myself as emotionally involved in this story as many fans are, but that’s probably due to my own emotions intertwined in the stories that I write.  Nevertheless, Diana had a good idea that apparently appealed to many.  She’s very fortunate to have her story come to life on screen.

 Most tender moment: Claire and Jamie saying their vows.

Most humorous statement:  Jamie’s confession regarding the lovemaking position.

Most disturbing moment: Dougal making a pass at Claire after she becomes Jamie’s wife!  (Stinker)

(Quote:  Gabaldon, Diana (2004-10-26). Outlander: A Novel (p. 195). Random House Publishing Group.)